just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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