Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
