The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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