all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
