very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Semen is not good for contacts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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