I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
