you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
