This is not my ceiling
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
