You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
