I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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