If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
