Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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