Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
