her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
