we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
