How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
