So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
