We won't sleep together?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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