We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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