I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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