My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
