so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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