didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
