I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
