my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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