Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
