I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sarcasm needs its own font
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
