please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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