There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
