it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
