I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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