turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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