Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
