my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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