bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
