Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So much rum. So many feels.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
