i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this just has baby written all over it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
