oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
you never un-have a 4some
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
