I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
