I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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