no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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