Kiss
Puke
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
God, I missed his penis.
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