I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I checked into jail on foursquare
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
