ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
