booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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