She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
