a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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