i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
