There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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