doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
