Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
