i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize