i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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