Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
