he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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