Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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