Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize