Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
