I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
