overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
