hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
