remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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