just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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