Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Screwed.edu
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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