I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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