Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
