your room smells of hookers.
And success
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
