she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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