It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize